


to glory and to sacrifice

by kvell



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:29:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5763094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kvell/pseuds/kvell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <br/>
  <i>'It seemed like it was always this way. The two of them hidden away in midnight alleyways and empty hotel hallways, right in the middle of everything but still always out of sight. Don't get him wrong, Okada wouldn't have given up everything they had had for all the money and all the glory in the world; he only wished they could've been more.'</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	to glory and to sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> shinsuke is leaving and i am sad about it.

He first heard it from the other wrestlers staying in the same hotel. Not even from the man himself.

(Shinsuke couldn't tell him. Not in person, face-to-face. The look on Okada's face, the glisten of his eyes, would've changed his mind, and he had questioned himself enough as it was.)

They didn't speak or see each other until the next day. There was no need. There wasn't much that could be said.

(He knew that Okada would find out. And he knew what he would say.)

These days, Okada had a tendency to consider himself above sitting in dusty alleyways between buildings. But he needed a break that night, from everyone he knew and from himself, too. The pressure was too much. It was a heavy burden to bear, the weight and the responsibility of his whole world on his shoulders. 

All that lifted when he saw Shinsuke, half lit up by street light, standing over him.

(Okada's eyes met his and there it was, the reason he couldn't tell him. Waves of regret hit Shinsuke, rolling in and rolling in and swallowing him, but with it came a stillness, a calm, in knowing that there was nothing he could do now. All was said and done.)

"Finally," was all Okada said. It wasn't said with happiness or with relief. It was resignation. He stared at the wall across from him, at old posters faded and torn with weather and age. If he looked close enough, he could probably find one with their faces on it.

It seemed like it was always this way. The two of them hidden away in midnight alleyways and empty hotel hallways, right in the middle of everything but still always out of sight. Don't get him wrong, Okada wouldn't have given up everything they had had for all the money and all the glory in the world; he only wished they could've been more.

Shinsuke nodded, hummed. Confirmation. He dropped his head, let his hair fall over one eye. 

The silence was thick and it clogged up their noses, throats, lungs.

Okada was numb.

(On the inside, every part of Shinsuke was screaming at himself for doing this to him.)

"But hey. Ace." Shinsuke crouched and reached his arm out, the backs of his fingers warm against Okada's cheek. At his touch, the numbness melted away. Okada leaned into it and attempted his own sad smile in return to Shinsuke's. 

He made a dismissive gesture with his hands.

Being on top of the world hurt more than he could've prepared for.

(Shinsuke wanted to do everything for him. Everything he could to make it better, make all the pain go away, to make him happy. But he couldn't, they both knew that, and to even attempt anything else would just make it all that much worse.)

Shinsuke stood, let his fingers brush just briefly over Okada's as he pulled away. He began to walk, out of the shadow and back into the light of the world, but of course, of course he had to stop and look back, his eyes meeting Okada's again like two lovers' souls through the aeons.

And then it was real. 

All of it.

One last, long, lingering look.

And then he was gone.

And it was all over.

Shinsuke turned away and took those final few steps, disappearing out of sight.

That must have been when Okada's heart truly broke, because that was when the tears began.


End file.
